Written by Bob Muppet
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Friday, 5 October 2001

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"You want sex Mr. Mandela?"

Nelson Mandela and Bill Clinton, two diametrically opposite characters, were exposed by a White House 'insider', who allegedly claims that they had 'sex' in the Oval Office.

Investigative journalists were shocked at this allegation and contacted the two ex-residents to get to the 'bottom' of the story.

Apparently Bill first became addicted to 'sex' whilst studying at an English University. He proudly recalled the circumstances of his first 'sex' experience.

"I remember it vividly" the silver- haired charmer explained

"A gang of us were in a cosy bistro just off Lie- sess-ter-shy-er Square, in good old London Town. We had an adequate meal of coq au vin with spotted- dick to follow. - and that was it! I developed an uncontrollable urge, I just had to have 'sex'!"

Nelson's tale was to prove incredibly similar.

"It was when I was released from jail that I came to realise my uncontrollable need for 'sex'" the saintly sage confessed..

"The food was none too good in prison, so I guess that might have been what triggered my basic instinct. Winnie and me had just got back together and she had prepared a huge 'welcome home' meal . I ravished her dumplings but I wanted more -- I needed 'sex'!"

But it was red faces all round when journalists rang the White House 'insider' for confirmation and found themselves talking to the cook's six year old daughter.

"My mummy is a smashing cook" the innocent angel replied.

"When she cooks too much food, she lets us have second helpings - just like the 'secs' that uncle Bill and uncle Nelson had in the Oval Room " she giggled!

"But I already told the story to the nice reporter who phoned me earlier" she said.

Who said never work with children and animals?

P.S., Nelson has kindly requested to point out to the Japanese people who keep ringing him to book a car service, that he is Nelson Mandela and not a Nissan Main-dealer!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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