Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Friday, 18 April 2008

image for Phone call by sixteen-year-old girl from fundamentalist compound alleging sexual abuse traced to Mary Kay's Cosmetics headquarters
Mary Kay's World headquarters building where the call was made?

Eldorado, Texas - The Eldorado police department in West Texas has finally tracked down the source of the controversial phone call of an alleged 16-year-old sexually abused girl that lead to them raiding the fundamentalist polygamists compound.

Telephone records indicate the call originated from the Mary Kay's cosmetics headquarters in Dallas, Texas.

So enraged with what negative impact the news of the call being a fake could have on their unprecedented case, the local District Attorney's office has decided to go after the prank caller.

"We're very upset and embarrassed," said a spokesman for the District Attorney's office. "When we find the person responsible, we will prosecute them to the full extent of the law."

Police then proceeded to raid the Mary Kay's World headquarters building.

Although not having isolated the exact location from where within the Mary Kay's World headquarters building the call originated; however, they managed to narrow down their search of the building to the floor where Mary Kay independent beauty consultants have their office cubicles.

"We haven't yet identified from which cubical the prank call was made," said Police. "So we're confiscating them all."

Police believe that a Mary Kay independent beauty consultant who made the fake call was motivated by either revenge or economic reasons in a desperate attempt to drum up sales.

Currently the police are pulling all of last month's sales records of all the Mary Kay independent beauty consultants to see which ones were behind in their sales quota for the past months in order to build up a lead on possible suspects.

Meanwhile at least one witness placed a Mary Kay independent beauty consultant attempting to access the fundamentalist polygamist compound, trying to generate sales a month before the fake call, say police.

"Yep, I saw one of them Mary Kay ladies hanging around the compound all last month," said Billy-Joe Tucker, a local of Eldorado. "I could tell she wasn't one of those fundamentalist compound wives neither because she was wearing makeup, a woman's pink pantsuit from Sears and she didn't have that dazed look in her eyes like a rabbit gets on the highway at night, hypnotized by a cars headlights just before its run over."

Tucker says that the unknown woman even managed to make it inside the compound on several occasions but each time she was caught and escorted off the compound grounds.

"I told her it was no good trying to get those compound women to buy her makeup," said Tucker. "Because they wouldn't know what to do with it, but she didn't listen."

Each time she was chased out, she was followed by a mob of angry women and child throwing rocks at her and screaming, "Get out of here you, Jezebel!" said Tucker.

The Mary Kay independent beauty consultant assigned the territory where the fundamentalist polygamist compound is located is currently being sought for questioning by the police.

"Apparently, the Mary Kay independent beauty consultant must have thought she hit the jackpot, or was handed over the quick claim deed to a goldmine," said Police. "Just her bad luck that she was assigned the fundamentalist polygamist compound, the worst territory in all of Texas to sell makeup, I guess."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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