Written by Wire Piddle
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Topics: New York, Obesity

Thursday, 17 April 2008

image for Another NYC Bylaw Announced To Curb Obesity
Big Mac

New York City - Mayor Bloomberg today announced a new bylaw in New York City aimed at targeting the obese of the city. The new bylaw stipulates that anyone eating hamburger at any of the thousands of eating establishments in the city, will be required to capture, kill and process their own beef.

Many have questioned the practicality of such a move. New York session bassist, Leroy Johnson, a frequent visitor to the fine dining experience offered by McDonald's restaurants, had this to say.

"How'm I supposed to do all that? I done seen no live beef in New York befo'. Lawd where can I get me some cow? I as heck dunno. I can't ever fin de condiments aisle let alone the meat section. Now I's got to kill it ma self. I dunno, I dunno."

When asked where one might be able to find the required ingredients, Mayor Bloomberg said he thinks he remembers seeing some cattle outside of Hackensack, New Jersey, but can't be sure.

"Sourcing live cattle will certainly be only one of the many issues facing hamburger eaters in the city but I guess it's sort of like that show 'Survivor'. Success follows effort," Mayor Bloomberg replied.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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