Washington DC - Presidential Candidate Barack Obama has continued to obstinently refuse to denounce his family and associates, and must be punished, according to Party officials.
"The Defendant Barck Obama has deviated from Party Doctrine," reported Party Elder George Stephanopoulos. "How can he be trusted with public office without proving his loyalty by denouncing his wife, friends and former associates? It is the only way to protect America from deviationism!"
"I urge Senator Obama to recognize his errors," said Republican Candidate John Sidney McCain. "I have denounced my past support for Roe v. Wade and for the McCain-Feinfold bill. The press has forgiven me the errors of my youth."
Senator Hillary Clinton agreed. "I renounced my former support for NAFTA," she said, "And the Party has forgiven me. I urge Senator Obama to denounce his deviationism from the Corporate Way before harsher punishment is regrettably necessary."
In related news, McCain renewed his offer to let homeless Americans camp out at his multiple mansions. "Only an elitist would deny Americans the opportunity to see my large, comfortable residences. And I'm no elitist; my mansions are available for the common people to view from afar any time I'm away. Just stay off my lawn!"