Texas - (Fundamental Nutter Mess): Federal agents have found a gigantic tunnel linking George W Bush's Predator Chapel Ranch, Crawford home and the Yearn For Zion polygamist nutters' concentration camp 223 miles due west near Eldorado.
"Looks like a whole lotta shovellin' been going on both ends of the hole," an FBI source muttered darkly to reporters today as work continued probing the vast subterranean orifice.
Meanwhile two Colorado sheriffs have been drafted in to inspect a newly discovered cultist nutters' outcrop just outside Crawford, said to be part of a slave labor camp used in the excavations between 2003 and 2006.
"Someone's sure been preparin' doin' a runner, maybe," Sheriff Smith commented on the earthworks.
"There's even a subterranean aircraft hangar full of officially missing military hardware: you know - ordnance, a few dozen stinger missiles, machine guns and ammo, half a dozen armour plated trucks and a UN-issue Blackhawk chopper; two hundred surface-to-air missiles, a SEAL-issue taser, and enough plutonium for a home-made nuclear device.
"Kinda handy maybe if the climate suddenly changes, politically speakin'?"
Dick Cheney is 69.