Written by George R
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Tuesday, 15 April 2008

Climate scientists from The University of Maryland have found that global warming could initiate an evolution of the river leach into a land roaming blood-sucking creature that would endanger the life or health of our children. Dr. Merle Benhoffson, an expert in the evolution of species, says that the leaches will leave the water and crawl upon the earth much the same way snakes move through the underbrush.

The new land leaches will grow rapidly, reach a length of about three feet, and have the ability to suck the lifeblood from a six-year-old child, according to Dr. Benhoffson.

"I'm not exactly sure how this evolution is taking place but there are signs of its origins in many of our rivers along the East Coast and anthropogenic global warming is the culprit. Leaches are growing rapidly and there have been reports that a number of them have been seen crawling out of the rivers and up the banks to dry land," Dr Benhoffson said. He added, "Up until now the sightings have been rare and those leaches seen crawling up the river banks have stayed only for about an hour and then turned and went back into the rivers. We expect that they will soon be able to live a long and healthy life out of water by sucking their needed blood from mammals. We have already seen signs of the development of a respiratory system that allows them to live on dry land."

Many scientists worldwide concur with Dr. Benhoffson's conclusion that it is only a matter of time that our warming globe will elevate the lowly river leach into a slimy slithering snake like creature sucking the lifeblood from our pets and possibly our children. The further development of these creatures will usher in a real life nightmare equal to the dark and revolting evil of a Count Dracula film.

When asked what can be done to prevent further development of these creatures, Dr. Benhoffson replied, "It's too late."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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