Written by Jesus Budda
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Sunday, 20 April 2008

image for Creationists Revise Their Calculations Following Gods Acceptance of Darwinism
Creationists are more confused than ever

Creationists all around the world are having to revise their thinking of their beliefs following God's admission in a Playboy interview that he lied about the whole 'world-created-in'7-days' thing.

"We put all our faith in the Bible", said Billy Hick, a former devout Christian Fundamentalist, "who would've ever thought that God would tell a lie?".

God's interview, which appears this month alongside an 8-page spread of Mary Magdalene, is the most controversial yet of the Creators.

"Maybe I twisted the facts a little", God spoke solemnly, "I was going for the whole idea of making it easily digestible for stupid folk - but people are much more curious and intelligent nowadays. Except of course those Creationists.

"Darwin hit it right on the nose with that whole selective evolution thing. Heck, I never made humans in my image! Sh*t, if I did then why are so many of 'em so damn ugly?!"

But some extremists are refusing to accept this story. Like, Jennifer Stoopid form Texas:

"Some may call it plain stubbornness. Others may cause it inbreeding and years of sitting around talking nonsense. But it's my faith", she whined while strumming a banjo, "oh, and this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that my husband has invested our entire life savings in a Creationist-themed website and bookstore and that if it fails to take off we are seriously f****ed".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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