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Sunday, 13 April 2008

image for Beauty Shop Adds Bikini Waxing to List of Services
Eugene, normally head mechanic in the garage, probably has the gentlest touch

Flora May's Beauty Shop, Auto Body and Pint, and Fried Chicken Palace down by the highway has added bikini waxing to their list of services. Owner Flora May announced that she has "added on a new room just for this so's people can get their waxin' in privet don't gotta get it done in front of God and ever'body."

Eugene, her husband, said that "we took Billie Jean and Bobbie Sue and a couple 'a them other beauticians and sorta experimented on them ta get it right. Pouring hot blocks of wax we melted in the chicken fryers burned 'em up a bit. It took too long ta sit there drippin' candles on their privates. We was at our wit's end tryin' ta come up with ways ta add this service when we come up with our big idear."

Flora May continued the story by saying that "Cletis was putting Bondo on old Jim Bob's tractor when he figgered it out. He came up to Elvira, who was laying across the top of Buck's chevy waiting to get wax dripped on her and laid a piece of tape across her baby makin' parts. One good rip and half them hairs was gone. We done it four times to be sure they was all outta there and we had us a new business scheme for our corporate empire."

When asked why she felt the need to add Brazilian Bikini Waxing to the Dinsmoor, Arkansas area, Flora May was very definite in her answer. "Cuz we need ta be with the rest of the world in the 21st century. If them high class, sophisticated women like Britney Spears is doin' this, then we need ta do it too!"

Flora May will charge $11.95 for the service, though Cooter over at the junkyard has offered to pay $5 of it if you let him keep your duct tape afterwards.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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