Written by Maditude
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Sunday, 13 April 2008

The Johnstown Baptist Church in Johnstown, MN is discouraging Americans from watching the "Compassion Forum" between Senators Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Reverend Ralph DeSales says that "Compassion Forum" is a coded message meaning "Orgy."

"Politicians often use coded messages to hide what they really mean." Reverend DeSales said, "One example is the term 'compassionate conservative'. A 'compassionate conservative' is nothing more than someone who wants to screw you... pardon my French."

Other churches are also taking part in the boycott, including The Church of Satan. High Priest Damon Malkar said that the forum was being held at a college that denounces Satan and that Church of Satan members are offended.

Tonight's forum will be widely watched by people who don't believe in anything. Everybody else will be watching "The Simpsons."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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