Eldorado - (Lurid Mess): Federal agents have found over $3 million in child bride cash receipts, virginity and fertility testing kits, impregnation rotas, pregnancy testing equipment and midwifery records at fundamentalist nutter Warren Jeffs' Yearn For Zion baby factory.
"We think that as the temple's official Prophet it was always Jeffs who checked the girls' virginity himself," federal agent Johnson said today, "always telling them the Lord himself wanted him to prepare them 'for the second coming', so to speak."
"Some of the equipment we found was custom-made for the temple," agent Johnson added, "and some obviously imported from foreign fundamentalist polygamous communities because the script looks a lot like Arabic or maybe Farsi."
Texas media was originally asked to downplay the full extent of federal findings now emerging from the Year For Zion baby factory as it has been dubbed.
"Folks are now starting to ask 'How could this have happened in Texas, what with the President and family living just up- the road, and old President Bush Senior not that further away?'" according to the editorial in today's Rockspring Daily Clarion.
George W Bush is 69.