WASHINGTON - Commander in Chief and War President, George 'Dubya" Bush sobbed like a baby as he pinned the Medal of Honor on himself.
The President of the United States (POTUS to his security detail), wiped tears from his face as he told news persons that he had decided to award himself with the Medal of Honor because "Ah've been doing a heckuva job, an' ya'll know bein' Prez is reeally haard work!"
Denying that he was a lame duck President, the 43rd leader of the US said he did not want his two terms "to go in vain".
A White House spokesperson clarified that "even though Mr. Bush had assiduously avoided military service during his youth he believes the last eight years have more than made up for it".
Republicans gave Mr. Bush a standing ovation and lauded the President for his service to the American public going "above and beyond the call of duty".