Written by Hippy fish
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Wednesday, 9 April 2008

image for Bush declares war on cows
cow

The president of America has announced that he is planning a full scale attack on cows. All cows will either be taken prisoner or slaughtered.

According to Bush, this is a last ditch attempt to combat global warming. The theory is that if all cows are eliminated no methane gas can be produced! But according to experts, there is more to this than what meets the eye.

Experts have reached the conclusion that George Bush does not care about global warming at all... He just wants the cow's milk.

After George Bush's mum passed away, the president was forced to find a new source of calcium. He tried going to the supermarket, but he couldn't stand it when "lesser individuals" came into contact with him.

He then tried mugging cows, but they were too strong for him. They overpowered Bush, and Bush went home crying.

Bush then tried getting oil, and this worked out for him! However, when he had drunk all the oil, he wanted milk again.

So he has been forced to blow up the cows.

We spoke to a spokesman for Bush: "this is not about the milk!" he said "Global warming is a serious issue, and one that is very close to George's heart... Even though he isn't actually sure what it is."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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