Written by SivartM
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Wednesday, 9 April 2008

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Studies show that kids aren't reading.

After a recent survey indicated that 87 percent of American kids don't like to read, parents and teachers have been struggling to find good reading material for them. "They just don't care about reading. They'd rather play their video games and watch TV," commented teacher Barbara Ellis of Lincoln, Nebraska.

This problem has motivated many parents to remove "reading restrictions", allowing their children to read whatever they want, an action which has been promoted by many reading and child experts. Child expert Stephanie White says on her website, "If we want kids to read, we can't tell them what to read and what not to read."

"I didn't really like reading until I found the Communist Manifesto," said seventh-grader Heather Andrews. "It really helped me to understand the problems with our society." Parents are also gifting their children with adult reading materials. Heather's brother, Chris, didn't like reading until his parents ordered him a subscription to Playboy. "He just can't stop reading," beamed his mother, Helen. "We're so proud."

There are some, however, who seem to think that letting children read anything they want to, regardless of subject matter, can be harmful to them. Parents for Good Reading, an organization of concerned parents, said, "It is the responsibility of the parents to teach their children discernment. How is letting them read trash supposed to turn them into good citizens?"

But more educated child experts are skeptical of any negative effects to their method. "Do you think that any of those parents is a child-care expert? They're just fundamentalist conservative Bible-thumping morons! I bet that they think that homeschooling produces good citizens too!" posted Stephanie White on her popular child-care blog.

So far, reports from parents around the country are looking good. Thousands more parents and teachers are promoting this modern way of thinking, and those kids just can't put down their books. As Robert Kimble, a second-grader, would say, "Who doesn't just love Mein Kampf?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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