Written by Kirsty Walker
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Friday, 5 October 2001

image for Bidding Ends On Kidman-Cruise Divorce Jokes
So who gets custody of the lipstic Tom?

CBS' The Late Show with David Letterman has emerged the victor in the most heated jokes auction in entertainment history.

The talk show bagged an amazing 320 jokes about the divorce of actors Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, at an estimated cost of $6 million. A further 60 jokes were bought by TV stars and comedians due to appear on The Late Show, making it the biggest bidder overall.

Ray Romano and Nathan Lane were just two of the celebrities who bid on topical one liners such as "I wonder who'll get custody of the platform shoes?"

Amongst Letterman's hall were the rights to all jokes concerning George Clooney and custody of the couples three foster children, but the show was pipped to post on Cruises' sexuality by Jay Leno.

The big spending has had a knock on effect to other celebrity divorces. The actress Kate Winslet was to donate all revenue from her divorce joke auction to AIDS charities, but will now raise much less than expected.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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