Written by ZiaUl-Hack
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Topics: New York, towns

Tuesday, 4 May 2004

(Albany, NY) New York State governor George Pataki has admitted that two small upstate towns, Cobleskill and Oneonta, are in reality "the same place". The actual name of the town is Cobleonta.

New Yorkers have long confused the two towns, both of which house branches of the state university and both of which lie on a peculiar Interstate, Route 88, which does not in fact span two states, and which for no apparent reason runs from dismal Binghamton, New York, to New York's truly egregious capital, Albany. Many people over the years have said that 88 does not seem to "go anywhere." In this instance, as it turns out, the popular wisdom is correct.

No one apart from college coeds has ever been to either of the "two" towns, and Pataki said that most of the college kids were "just too drunk" to realize that the one was in fact the other.

Mapmakers have contributed to the ongoing hoax by inventing a series of fraudulent towns and Route 88 exits said to lie between "Cobleskill" and "Oneonta". The topographers obviously had tongue firmly implanted in cheek when they concocted such nonexistent municipalities as "Schenevus", "Richmondville" and "Worcester", evocative as these non-places are of the infamous "Shelbyville" and "North Haverbrook" claimed to border the town of Springfield on "The Simpsons."

"Look, it's a very large campus, and we were just having a bit of fun," Pataki said. "No one's the worse off for it. And let's not forget that that SUNY Cobleonta has probably the best hotel management program in the entire state college system."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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