HNN (Henman News Network)- High school coach of democrat Barak Obama - Paul Whitebottom claims that the democrat often stole bowling balls during his practice sessions and was never actually in his bowling squad.
You see, Barak was never really on the team. He made the uniform he wore out of old rags and the bowling ball he used was a toy space helmet stuffed with paper. He would show up at practice and either steal the bowling balls to make us chase him for it or tackle the others for the bowling balls like some moron. Barak was always a problem. There was this one time he threw a bowling ball and it hit my crouch. I am now unable to have children. he added before stopping.
When questioned about the claims of Coach Whitebottom, Obama didn't hesitate to dismiss the claims as scandalous and false claiming the Whitebottom was merely a pawn planted to tarnish his image. Obama did however apologise to Mr Whitebottom for the 'incident' which occurred in 1975. We are still uncertain what this 'incident' really is.
Unfortunately for Mr Obama, we at the HNN find this very hard to believe.