Fear City, AZ - Republican Presidential candidate John Sidney McCain announced a bold new plan for making America safer.
"Most Americans don't like the way things are going in Iraq," he told a crowd of obsequious media. "They wish we hadn't lost thousands of lives, tens of thousands of wounded and trillions of dollars. Who can blame them for that?"
"But our course is clear. We cannot fix it by leaving, we cannot fix it by staying. We must have the courage, the will, the determination to demand a do-over."
"Some, faint of heart, will resist this bold strategy. I say to them, if you can declare a 'Mulligan' on the golf course, why won't you support the troops and declare a Mulligan on Iraq?"
Reaction was swift and positive. "By simply erasing what has happened so far," said campaign strategist Karl Rove, "We can re-play the fearmongering that lead up to Iraq and rebuild the domestic political juggernaut that gave the GOP total power!"
There was muted criticism. "While traveling back in time is possible at the quantum level and in the vicinity of a rotating black hole," said noted physicist Stephen Hawking, "You can't simply re-play Iraq. The laws of physics are not susceptible to nonsensical propaganda." Fortunately, more loyal mainstream media reporters told him to hush.
In a related development, the National Board of History Standards announced that history texts will be improved to place the first four thousand American deaths in Iraq within the time of the Clinton Administration. "History is what we teach," said a spokesman, "And we're not going to teach that George W Bush got four thousand Americans killed in Iraq."