The Chicago police dept has been gorging itself on deep dish pizza, Chicago Dogs and of course lots and lots of Doughnuts. As a result, they have been declared the pudgiest police in the USA. That is, until new Supt. Det. Dick Simmons brought his world famous weight loss program to the department.
Richard Simmons, weight loss guru, for the stars and the lots of just normal folk(except himself) is leading the charge to get Chi town cops to drops some pounds and lose some inches.
Simmons explained: "Crooks, liars and all manner of bad gals and guys have learned that to avoid arrest all you have to do is run or climb a fence and the Chicago police drop dead with cardiac arrest."
Simmons has Windy City winded cops dancing to the oldies to get back in the trim and fit.
The first candidates, the 300+ club, admitted that they were feeling better after some of Simmons' workouts. They were just collectively wishing that they wouldn't be picking up the Simmons' lisp!