Written by Bert Onassis
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Topics: Cats

Thursday, 27 March 2008

image for Gaping pussy whisperer has jaw put back
Zoophilia, the next stage

Locally famous 'Pussy Whisperer' Smitch Cumstein of County County, Idaho, Nebraska yesterday had his jaw relocated after it was swiped by 'Toot Toot', a 2 year old Siamese three legged cat of minor proportions, but an excellent Forward Defensive Stroke.

'Toot Toot' was receiving CBT for post Traumatic Stress Disorder after a mouse bit back a while ago, last fall.

Smitch had repeatedly requested that his jaw be returned by the owners of 'Toot Toot' but eventually had to take court action since the owners just shrugged and didn't say much.

The Jaw now sits proudly just under Smitch's nose and above his neck. 'The best place for it' Dr Proctor, a local vet stated last night.

What next for 'Toot Toot'? Electro Convulsive Therapy has been rumoured? Excommunication has been voiced as 'Toot Toot' is a Catholic Cat.

The local police think not.

They are just going to shoot him dead and use the skin as a douche bag.

At least it isn't raining.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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