Written by Spunk Macnamara
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Wednesday, 26 March 2008

"The biggest mistake of my life." - That's how Lawrence Goldman, a life-long friend of Republican presidential candidate John McCain, described his lunch with the Arizona Senator at Thanh Hien, a Vietnamese restaurant in suburban Phoenix.

"I told John, 'Hey, it's my turn to pick the restaurant' and John was good with it. Well, I wasn't thinking, obviously." Goldman paused, staring at the ground and shaking his head.

"It wasn't pretty. The waitress just brought our Diet Cokes when John snapped. He just completely freaked. We didn't even make it through appetizers before police were called."

Courageously attempting to avoid any preferential treatment due to his political status, McCain refused to leave the restaurant until all other customers were released. By the time the other customers had finished their lunches, it was too late for much of the restaurant's property and at least one employee.

An attorney for Thanh Hien is requesting McCain pay for the damage to the restaurant, estimated at $10,000, for medical bills after a proctologist had to remove two bamboo chopsticks from the cook, and for various other punitive damages.

In related news, a spokesperson for the McCain campaign said that a scheduled interview with CNN anchor Betty Nguyen has been postponed to a later date. No reason was given for the postponement.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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