Worst President ever, GW Bush gushed real tears, like the oil gushers that made his grandfather, his father and his own lazy, under achieving ass rich, when he thanked the four thousand American corpses and the countless bereaved loved ones left behind.
His gratitude to the dead and the depressed came as he realized that if he soaked the Iraqi soil with enough blood, all that oil beneath that sand would be his and his descendants.
Oil industry experts explained that Bush's gratitude was well placed even though as usual he has no idea what he is talking about.
Petroleum archaeologist, Greasy McSpoon clarified: "Oil is fossil fuel. The dead bodies will become fossils and will add to the oil rich deposits that belong to greedy bastards like the Bushes!"