Written by Charlie D. Nowhere
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Wednesday, 19 March 2008

image for Bloomberg - "Fuck it, I Cheated Too"
I miss you Mike.

New York Mayor Micheal Bloomberg today said "fuck it" and announced that he had an extramarital affair.

"Well, everybody else was either getting caught or coming clean, so I said what the hell, it's like a little party," said Bloomberg on the steps of City Hall.

Bloomberg was referring to an incident in January of 2007 when he "disappeared" for 3 days.

"Yeah, I was out drinking with Spitzer and Paterson and when they went to their ho's, I stayed behind at the bar," said Bloomberg. "I got really drunk and ended up starring in a donkey show down in Tijuana."

A donkey show is a tradition in Tijuana.

Multiple participants drink a bunch of tequila in a bullring with bulls running around. Most die but every once in a while a star is born, actually penetrated.

"I don't really remember much. I just wanted the weight off my shoulders," said Bloomberg.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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