Crawford, Texas - (Rioters): Officials from the Keep-Texas-Wholesome Alcoholic Beverage Commission have seized 911 bottles of an illicit 75 degree proof rattle snake-infused vodka bound for Jenna Bush's Predator Chapel Ranch wedding in May.
"We believe this may be a Bush family home-brew," the liquor agency's spokesman said today after discovering the shebeen that processed the reptilian hooch.
The snake liquor is rumored to possess aphrodisiac properties if distilled from newly impregnated females of the species - "not that the bride's father would know anything about it of course, being teetotal as he is these last six months ....er... twenty years!" the source added.
The bottles all contain a 10-inch red and green rattlesnake pickled in the fiery vodka.
"Sure some folks round here believe there's no such thing as a proper Texas wedding without the bride and groom getting ratarsed on this stuff," a Crawford party-planner said today.
"You can always barbecue the little pickled critters later."