The Bush family and the Cheneys gathered this week in the Rose Garden to celebrate the fifth birthday of their mutually conceived toddler.
Young Warren Eyerack has accomplished a lot more than most five year olds. Firstly, the tot has been responsible for 4,000 dead US soldiers and hundreds of thousands of dead Iraqi civilians. Every parent knows kids costs money but who expected little Warren to be a billion dollar a day baby?! Most children wait till late adolescence to ruin their parents' reputations in the neighborhood and beyond but this little tyke has trashed his parents' standing around the world.
Uncle Colin Powell refused to attend the birthday party because as he has contended from early on in the child's life: "These parents are turning the child into a monster!"
Aunt Hillary stayed at a non-committal distance saying that she supported his birth but not his upbringing.
Uncle Obama told reporters: "Don't look at me. I didn't have anything to do with the birth and I don't know what to do with the boy."
Godfather McCain beamed with pride throughout the party. "I can't wait for Warren Eyerack to reach his teens and then his twenties and beyond"