Capitol Hill- In an attempt to rid himself, once and for all, of the turd stories that circulate through TheSpoof.com, Dr. Maxwell lobbied today to have Congress step in. Many of the Congressmen and women agreed with Dr. Maxwell that turd stories were of bad taste and didn't need to be read by the young people of America.
When word hit The Spoof newsroom, there was an immediate reaction. Some were on Dr. Maxwell's side and flew out to D.C. to show support, while others were in an uproar.
However, as soon as word got out, two of The Spoofs pro-turd writers had vanished. Tiki Murphy and Duncan Whitehead were nowhere to be seen.
Queen Mudder says, "I am afraid of what those two may do. They are very pro-turd and very active in the turd writing community. Although, I have a funny feeling no matter what they do, we will be writing about it for some time."
When the Congressional meeting took a lunch break the anti-turd leaders met for lunch at the Camp David Cafe. This close knit group are known for dining together and coming up with 'battle' plans. They are also the majority vote to pass this highly controversial bill.
The special for this day was, a pulled pork sandwich, chips, and chocolate pudding. All of the congressmen and women ordered the daily special. This would lead to a tragic moment in history for the anti-turd movement.
The culprit was never found, although it is highly suspected to be either Ms. Murphy, or Mr. Whitehead. But someone had laced the pudding that was served to the anti-turd group with heavy doses of ex-lax. Needless to say, they were not present for the voting, and the Anti-Turd Bill was not passed.
President Bush stated, "They really didn't have to do that. I would have vetoed the bill. I love those stories. They make me laugh. But I'm pretty glad whoever did do it, did it. Those people are annoyig and they needed to be 'cleaned' out. They are so full of shit, it ain't even funny."
"The hunt is on for whoever 'defiled' the pudding, and disgraced such upstanding citizens. I will post a $1,000 dollar reward of my own money to whoever can prove that Murphy or Whitehead had anything to do with this," Dr. Maxwell declared.
Tiki, Duncan, and the editor could not be reached for comment. According to writer Jalapenoman, they do have an alibi. "See Duncan and Tiki were shopping with Mark. He's trying to buy a gift for his wife ::wink::, and he wanted to know where Tiki got her hemp panties. Duncan was there to show him where to get an authentic nurses uniform."
The investigation is still underway.