Both Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are married to their first spouse, according to documents recently uncovered by mainstream media.
The "Marriagegate" emerging scandal has lead pundits to wonder if the Democratic Party is doomed whichever one wins the nomination.
"Marriage is the foundation of American Society" said marriage expert Newt Gingrich. "And both Obama and Hillary have failed to marry more than once. Their experience and willingness to create new marriages for America is at most half that of John Sidney McCain. And neither of them have been nearly as unfaithful to their spouses as, say, myself. How can they lead America to greatness when they can't even take advantage of all the great opportunities for extramarital sex that comes with being in Congress?"
Pundits agreed that the Republican Party has a great advantage on the marriage issue. "I'm considering Rudy Giuliani for Vice-President," said the twice-married McCain, "Because he alone has had more spouses than both Barack and Hillary combined. Together, we've created five times as many marriages as either Obama or Hillary, and that's five times as much support for the institution of marriage."