Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 15 March 2008

image for Crane smashes Manhattan building, misses Spitzer residence by inches
Near the scene of devastation today

Midtown Manhattan, NYC - (Reuterus): Gov Eliot Spizter had yet another lucky escape today when a 15 storey-high construction crane smashed into a neighboring building.

It narrowly missed the gubernatorial residence "by less than six inches" and caused untold mayhem in the already freaked-out Spitzer household.

"It's like they're totally jinxed," passer-by Joe Pascagoula said after witnessing the mayhem.

As fatality and casualty numbers rose in the 50th Street and 1st/2nd Avenues catastrophe intrepid press photographers managed to obtain some very high resolution long-distance shots of the turmoil in the Spitzer household by scaling adjoining buildings.

These show the moment Gov Spitzer - pictured taking a dump in the master-suite bathroom - felt the impact of the crane's full weight on the adjacent mansion block's roof.

Another shot sees him running naked to the window to view the full horror of the crane's metal girders dangling right outside his apartment.

Video footage taken during the crane catastrophe incident by LA FagHagSlagMag paparazzi is a little blurred.

But with the aid of lip readers and some high-density filtration "you can just make out Silda Wall Spitzer calling her husband a motherfucking-asshole-walking-disaster" while lobbing a priceless Ormolu porcelain aspidistra stand at his general direction.

Ashley Dupre is 22.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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