George W. Bush's personal chef has been arrested in connection with a plot to poison the President's entire administration during a scheduled banquet at Camp David.
Chouey MacFee, once a soap star in the UK, has been working as Bush's personal chef since last year. It is understood that he was recruited by al- Qaeda's 'Mr Fixit' Yusuf Banana in 2003, while working on a cruise ship based off the coast of Egypt.
The banquet was planned to celebrate the millionth bomb dropped by US forces since the invasion of Afghanistan in late 2001. The President's staff are said to be extremely embarrassed about the fact that standard recruitment protocols were not followed.
One aide said: "We struggle to find decent chefs. No-one seems to want to cook for the President. He's a damn fussy eater, and Chouey cooks at great burger, so we cut some red tape in order to get him before he went off on another cruise. This has turned out to be a near miss. From now on, we won't be cutting any corners when appointing catering staff."
Macfee was born in Loch Salmon, Scotland in 1941. He is said to have become involved with Al Qaeda after losing his Michelin Star in 2002, when working at the Crossroads Motel. He had mistakenly served the Michelin inspectors a plate of dog shit instead of the ham souffle they had ordered.