Written by jim byrd
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Topics: eliot spitzer

Thursday, 13 March 2008

image for Eliot Spitzer and the Illegal Alien Driver's Licenses for Sex Scandal

If you have committed some act in the past couple of weeks that has been weighing heavy on your conscience, and you are an ardent believer in Karma, you may get a reprieve from the equatable "what goes around comes around" punishment you may have been nervously awaiting from Karma. The reason for your ad hoc amnesty is that Karma has been working double overtime for the past several weeks on the Eliot Spitzer case. Karma still has more work to do on the case.

New York Governor Eliot Spencer was caught in a Federal IRS investigation involving clandestine money transfers to a prostitution ring known as the Emperor's Club. Spitzer has apparently spent approximately $80,000 over the past ten years on prostitutes. This is the same type of crime that he prosecuted with fervor as New York's Attorney General. His crimes, if indicted, run deeper than just engaging in paid sex.

As the federal investigation continues to unfold, there are indications that he was also involved in offering illegal immigrant women New York drives licenses for sex. The FBI believes he was trying to setup a statewide network of sexual surrogates. There was a separate covert investigation called "drive for sex" being operating by the FBI. The New York Division of Motor Vehicles was also running a parallel investigation into the Spitzer sex for licenses operation. The two investigations have subsequently merged.

In the wake of the two investigations, Eliot Spitzer has resigned from office. He gave as sincere of an apology as could be expected from a liberal Democrat during an afternoon press conference. With his wife by his side, he stated, "I deeply regret being the center piece of these investigations, and most importantly I apologize for getting caught." Spitzer went on to state that he was only resigning because of pressure and the threat of impeachment, and did not believe his behavior warranted his vacating the Governorship. "Of all the things I did as Attorney General and Governor, and they were all very public, mind you, this insignificant incident does not make the top ten," he said.

Immediately following the press conference, his wife was asked by a reporter how she was holding up and her only response was, "I have to get home. All I know is that our two housekeepers, who are immigrants, were riding the bus because they could not drive and now they are driving around in new cars. Sorry, I have to get home."

As more pieces of the investigation are being put together, the prostitute at the center of this is a 23 year old known as Kristen who goes by the name of Ashley Alexandra Dupre whose real name is Ashley Youmans. It is now known that Spitzer was referred to as client #9. As parts of the transcript from the wiretaps are becoming available and are being analyzed, Spitzer apparently had an appetite for risky and kinky sexual behavior. client 9 is heard in the wiretap requesting "dangerous" sex from Kristin. He wanted to engage in sex without the use of a condom. According to a sworn affidavit by Kristen, aka Ashley Alexandra Dupre, aka Ashley Youmans, he insisted on even more risky and deviant sex once they had met.

According to testimony by Kristen, aka Ashley Alexandra Dupre, aka Ashley Youmans, client 9 wanted to fulfill one of his sexual fantasies. Client 9 wanted to drive to a day labor camp with her and pick up an illegal day laborer that did not speak English, take them to get a driver's license, then proceed to have unprotected sex in the back seat while the immigrant, with their newly acquired license, negotiated the streets of New York.

Kristin, aka Ashley Alexandra Dupre, aka Ashley Youmans issued a short press release pleading with the press to respect her privacy and leave her alone until she is ready to use her 15 minutes. She said that, …"with all this attention I haven't slept in a week…and as you know, being paid to sleep in various places and with different people is how I make a living."

There is an unsubstantiated report that Client 42 on the Emperor's Club client list may be Bill Clinton. There seems to be a pattern of text messages from Spitzer's phone and Clinton's alleged phone number usually around 3:00 a.m. After the news of Spitzer's involvement in the prostitute and driver's license racket became public, there was a 3:00 a.m. text message from Client 42 to Client 9 mentioning something about there is always the Vice-Presidency to fall back on.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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