George W Bush issued an Executive Order canceling the resignation of Governor Eliot Spitzer, citing national security concerns.
"If illegal actions were a reason that an executive must resign," he explained, "The office of the Presidency would swiftly become empty. And that would be a victory for the terrorists."
Reaction was swift and positive. "I tried to point out that the Constitution does not allow the President to cancel a governor's resignation," said Senate Majority Enabler Harry Reid, "But he explained that we couldn't stop him. He's got me there!"
Analysts agreed. "If Executives do not have access to prostitutes," explained Talon News Whore Jeff Gannon, "They may be denied the tender handling that a man needs to succeed."
"It was all political anyway," said White House Designated Successor John McCain, "Spitzer was just trying to resign so we wouldn't be able to pummel the Democrats on that issue. Obviously the federal government can't allow the Democrats to have that advantage. Bomb Iran!"