(Philadelphia PA) Hillary Clinton shocked supporters at a Philadelphia rally today by showing up dressed in a chador and with her face and hair covered in a veil. Ms. Clinton announced that she had converted to Islam and her new name is Nazeeya El-Bitchia.
"Nazeeya is a muslim name meaning optimistic and full of hope! If someone like me can change like this, then so can you!" said the ecstatic new convert. Nazeeya will follow the Shi'a branch of Islam. Daughter Chelsea has converted also and took the name of Fatimah.
Supporters quickly saw through the charade as just another desperate attempt to outwit Barack Obama and pull ahead in the Democratic campaign.
"That does it for me too." said Governor Ed Rendell of Pennsylvania (sometimes known as Client #8). "No one believes a word this phony witch says anymore, I'm going to the Obama side."
Bill Clinton (widely known as Client #1) was thinking of converting also: "Does this mean I can have another three wives! I pick Gennifer, Paula and Monica! Nazeeya does look better covered from head to toe. Hey, anyone got the phone number to the Emporers Club?"