West VA - Speaking to a small town in West Virginia yesterday. Hillary Clinton declared herself the victor in the race for the Democratic nomination and called upon Barrack Obama to concede.
"This has been a long and hard fought race, now it is time to mend the Party," said Clinton in a speech with Bill and Chelsea Clinton standing behind her looking stunned and staffers seemed in a panic.
Still Hillary continued as if posessed, "I want to thank Barrack Obama for his gracious phone call this morning to concede the race to me. I told him that he would some day be President, but now is the time for the first woman President!"
Clinton went on until the sound system suddenly developed problems, it appeared that one of her staffers had cut the main power cable. But Clinton continued her speech even as her family tried to encourage her to stop. At one point she appeared to catch Bill with an elbow to the groin, a move that doubled the former President over in pain. A back hand appeared to catch Chelsea Clinton in the eye and she was later seen with a large icepack over the affected area.
Later when calm seemed to return, Hillary Clinton had this to say, "I think my family is going to now appreciate my call for Universal Healthcare insurance." The Obama Campaign meanwhile chose to take the high road and continued to ignore the Clinton Campaign by issuing the following statement, "John McCain is our main rival, that Hillary woman is just a bonehead."