WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - President George Bush has revealed that he himself ordered the execution of "Osama bin Puppy," the heinous terrorist mastermind and former CIA dog responsible for planning the 911 attacks.
"Yes, I ordered that Marine to toss Osama bin Puppy off that cliff, a grim Bush admitted at a White House press conference. "We captured his execution on film as a warning to other terrorist puppies and rogue CIA agents."
Bush went on to exhibit documents proving how the creature, while employed with the CIA, wantonly planned and staged the 911 attacks along with rogue puppies from Mossad.
"The only thing that went wrong with their operation was that Building 7 was brought down with thermite like the two world trade towers but without its plane having hit it," stated Bush. "Osama bin Puppy really messed up on that detail…the plane meant to strike WTC 7 was instead downed in Pennsylvania."
Bush also revealed that the CIA had waterboarded Osama bin Puppy to make him bark and provide details of his betrayals.
"Thus, I have vetoed the legislation forbidding waterboarding in order to make other terrorist puppies think twice before conducting terrorist acts and betraying our country!" shrieked Bush who then fell off his podium and began biting the carpet.
--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire