Written by Justin Dodd
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Topics: Hillary Clinton

Thursday, 6 March 2008

image for Senate Proposes Bill to Revise Election Process to Only Count Important States
Senator Clinton (D-NY) lists the states which have been deemed important enough to vote.

(Washington D.C.) -- Following Democratic presidential nominee Barrack Obama's (D-IL) seemingly impressive 11 contest winning streak of meaningless states, the US Senate has proposed new measures to perfect the election process. Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY), the key sponsor of the bill, has cited the recent Democratic Party's elections as the catalyst behind this controversial, yet, well received legislation.

"Senator Obama's 11 straight wins has given him the upper hand in the nomination process," commented Senator Clinton, "the only problem with this is the fact that 100% of those wins were in states that are simply not important."

Many senior officials agree that the logic behind this argument is hard to deny. The bill is already gaining huge support in the House of Representatives. "[Senator Clinton's] reasoning behind this election reform bill is obvious, she cares about the voters in those key important states." House majority leader Steny Hoyer said.

A preliminary list of states whose votes will count has been released by Senator Clinton's staff, they are: Arizona, Arkansas, California, Florida, Massachusetts, Michigan, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Ohio, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, Tennessee, and Texas. The full list is expected to be available shortly before the Democratic National Convention convenes in August.

Senator Obama has yet to reply to any questions posed about the new legislation. Dr. Dennis Greenleaf, professor of political science at Harvard University, concludes that Obama's silence must be due to the infallible logic of Senator Clinton's argument. "This is a long overdue revamping of the US election process. The reason you hear little opposition is because it's just so damned brilliant!" Dr. Greenleaf stated.

Meanwhile, elections will continue in unimportant states. Voter turnout is expected to diminish as they enthusiastically embrace the relief of never having to vote again. "It's such a load off for those Washington types to finally realize how unimportant our votes are" an Iowa voter commented.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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