Written by Tess Tickles
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Thursday, 6 March 2008

image for Huckabee Moons McCain
Just before the shit hit the fan (literally).

Mike Huckabee has refused to apologise for mooning John McCain after the Vietnam veteran won his party's nomination for the presidential election on Tuesday night.

In a move many media outlets saw as a clear sign of sour grapes, the Arizona senator unbuckled his belt, dropped his pants, slapped his butt cheeks and vociferously urged McCain to 'kiss that ass, you old goat' in a move which shocked onlookers and political strategists alike.

"I think it was a bad move for Huckabee as regards his future career", said one analyst. "He should have at least cleaned his ass first".

"He cannot recover from this" said another. "Hell, I'm not sure I can recover from this."

There was one dissenting voice amongst the political fraternity as speech writer Rich Whiteman says that Huckabee's ass cheeks show a rebellious and defiant side not previously transparent in the former baptist preacher's make-up: "I think it says to the youthful voters out there that 'hey, I ain't taking no trash talk from some old man. I'm young and I'm gonna have fun.' It establishes Huckabee as the Fonz or the Bart Simpson of American Politics. He's now a strong front-runner for the candidacy in 2012, should he wish to run".

Huckabee himself refused to congratulate McCain and instead opted to fire more shots at his rival: "He looks like a tortoise. Look at him. He's got that bald head and the flapping fat below his chin. He's slow and stiff. The guy's a turtle. Tell me the guy isn't a fucking turtle! Dopey old git. Hope Obama wins", raged the conservative, before raising his middle fingers, saying 'fuck America' and riding off on his motorcycle to the tune of Born To Be Wild.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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