Written by improvman
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Tuesday, 27 April 2004

image for American Idol Votes for Jennifer Hudson Were Sent to a Blender

Last week, many American Idol fans were outraged when Jennifer Hudson was voted off the show. An investigation revealed that the votes for Hundson sent via text messaging were sent to an internet blender in Iowa, owned by local health nut Mavis Higgins.

"So last week, I bought this blender at the Radio Shack that you can hook up to a phone line. I didn't think twice, and I hooked it up. The next night, the blender kept yelling, 'Hudson, Hudson, Hudson'. It bothered me at first, but the voice sounded sexy, so I just made me a protein shake, and sat back and listned to it."

When asked to comment, a spokesman from AT&T Wireless said, "It's always something. First, people expect reception from their cell phone. Now, they don't want text messages going to a blender. What's next? Are they going to want us to reduce tech support hold time down to 2 hours?"

To avoid future snafus, Fox has asked Higgins to monitor her blender 24 hours a day for text messages, and to call her local Fox affiliate with the result of every vote.

"It sounds extreme," said a Fox spokesman, "but hey. If Jack Bauer can spend 24 hours fighting terrorists, I don't see why Mavis can't sit by a damn blender."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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