Written by Linguini
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Topics: Texas, Jobs

Tuesday, 27 April 2004

image for Rep. Party Whip, Tom DeLay, in Drunken Fit Lambasts OSHA Regulators for Jobs' Loss
I'm Tom DeLay from West Texas. Pay me or I'll remember that you didn't!

Yesterday while pulling into one of his favorite drive-up "Liquor & Ammo" stores in West Texas, Republican House Party Whip, Tom DeLay, with Jack Daniels in hand, held raucous caucus to about 25 local drunken yahoos, proclaiming "The End of OSHA as we know it!" by lambasting "those G.D. Lee-ba-ril Bleeding Heart OSHA regulators" for having passed all those workplace safety measures "forcing our businesses into outsourcing their work overseas!" DeLay, in a drunken fit, loudly villified "those OSHA Misfits" as "the **Real** Reason for Few New Jobs in America," contending that "if it weren't for G.W.'s 'compassionate' tax cuts for the wealthy, we'd all be selling burritos at Taco Bell!" As he pulled out, three Texas State Police cars were on his tail, pulling him over for "gross DUI," - which is but a "minor moving violation" in West Texas. Each officer ended up having to contribute to DeLay's re-election campaign "to avoid getting a friendly phone call from the Governor firing your sorry a..!!", as Delay not so gently put it to them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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