Judge Clarence Thomas has not spoken a word in Supreme Court proceedings in over two years. His numerous critics have deplored his appointment, by the father of the worst President ever GW Bush, as the replacement for historic First African American Justice Thurgood Marshall.
Marshall had been the victorious lawyer in the famous Brown vs. the Board of Ed of Topeka, Kansas-the case the overturned the myth of separate but equal and brought about integration in US public schools. Thomas was chosen by Bush the elder because of his conservative politics and their shared affinity for the films of Long Dong Silver.
Critics were struck dumb this week when they learned that Thomas had had his voice box removed almost three years ago. All realized that Justice Thomas has not spoken because he cannot.
One of his fellow Justices speaking off the record admitted to having the surgery performed for his own good: "I'm certain Justice Thomas is grateful to not have to endure his own stupid statements any longer" Justice Thomas walked in on the comment and signed something to his fellow Supreme.
Our reporter asked for an interpretation and the Justice said that he always asks for just one sugar in his coffee with a single upraised middle finger.