Written by Jen A. Taylia
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Monday, 26 April 2004

image for Simon Cowell joins John Kerry as chief advisor.
Simon Smiles for Reporters

In a strange marriage of politics and showbiz, John Kerry invites American Idol genius Simon Cowell on board to help choose a running mate for the 2004 election.

Kerry who has been tight lipped about who is in the running for the position now confesses that the secrecy has been more attributed to a lack of consensus within the current group of advisors.

"Choosing a Vice President to be is no easy task. I might have to hang out with this person all the time.. That's a tough call." Kerry shared with reporters continuing,

"The VP also has to be someone that the American People will stand behind - and who predicts the vote of the American people better than Simon Cowell."

A spokesman for the FOX TV network assure Idol fans that this will not have any affect on the hit show because none of the 6 remaining finalists are likely candidates for the Vice Presidency.

When confronted by reports in an L.A. nightclub, Simon made a brief statement;

"I'm not trying to be funny, but if you ask me, Howard Dean can pack his bags because he's going home... I'm serious. You can go into any Sheraton Hotel in America and find someone like Howard Dean giving an Avon presentation any day of the week. It's just not good enough"

The Bush administration had no official comment but in what some believe was an indirect reference today, George Bush's speech included the line, ".. only a fool would believe that someone from the entertainment industry could have a positive effect on politics."

The statement drew fierce criticism from the assembled group who had gathered at a Republican fundraiser organized by Nancy Reagan to show her husbands support for the November 2004 election.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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