Michael Jackson, the failed pop star and suspected paedophile monster, is to auction-off his entire Neverland estate, estimated at $250million, to clear a debt he owes on the property.
Mr Jackson bought the ranch in 1987 and developed the site for tourists, building attractions such as a zoo, a fairground, a naturist children's swimming pool and a paedophile unit.
Now though, after several accusations of child molestation, and expensive court cases to match, Jacko has finally come to the end of the road, and intends to sell his former home on eBay.
These days a total recluse, Wacko Jacko now lives in a cave in the back garden of fellow singer and lookalike Diana Ross, and wasn't available for comment, but a spokesman said that he hoped the money raised from the sale would be enough to pay off what he owes.
The spokesman, called simply Bubbles, said:
"He never touched me. Honest."