Ralph Nader recently announced he will be running in the 2000 Presidential election. Speaking before seven of his supporters, Mr. Nader said he has long felt the 2000 election was fundamentally unsound, and welcomed the chance to run again in it this year.
He stated: "Once and for all, I can set the issue to rest without having to be concerned with taking votes from Al Gore. This is a chance for the electorate to be heard, and for me to prove that I'm a viable candidate who is just as concerned with past failures as with defeats in the future."
Critics of Nader have said that he has no real chance of winning, but Nader disagrees. "Lots of people said that about the Boston baseballer's club, the Red Stockings, yet they have won two World Series watches. I'm sure the city is proud of them."
When asked why he chose the 2000 election, Nader said he thinks he has a better chance of winning that one, as there will be less competition. He asserted that he is up on all the latest political issues, having been following the campaigns by "listening to the wireless radio a lot, and even watching some debates on his new color television."
Nader says he looks forward to introducing America to his innovative ideas, including equipping the Army with his new "wind powered guns," and then eliminating the Army altogether. He also plans a trip to Iran, where he promises to "buy everyone a Coke."