Written by Tragic Rabbit
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Tuesday, 26 February 2008

image for Obama's Support (and Hillary's Behind) Grows Broader
Hillary's ever-widening base loses voters to Obama campaign.

WASHINGTON - In the last two months, Barack Hussein Obama has built a commanding coalition among U.S. voters and is now viewed as the candidate best able to beat war veteran John McCain in the 2008 election.

But this widely reported view ignores a significant trend among election watchers, newly revealed by the latest poll: the broadening of Obama's support is in direct proportion to the broadening of Hillary's thighs.

Preliminary data indicate the precise relationship formula to be A (h)dh, though calculus is required to work out the actual voter numbers on any given day.

Mathematicians across America are scurrying to analyze and interpret these unexpected findings.

Our in-house expert, Joe Spanky, elaborates: "Yes, we were quite astonished at these results, but the hard numbers are absolutely undeniable. As the inches add to Hillary's bottom, ever more voters are 'turned off' by her neo-feminist ideals and 'turned on' to the possibility of electing America's first nearly-Black president."

"Why not vote for Barack Hussein?" a random voter passing by our offices asked, adding "Hey, if nothing else, it'd be a laugh."

Other random registered voters, when questioned, offered advice to the Clinton campaign's embattled candidate.

"Cut down on carbs, martinis and transfats, honey, and maybe get yourself a new hair conditioner."

Clinton campaign spokespersons could not be reached for comment because they wouldn't accept the charges, a response that indicates Clinton staff to be readying themselves for a return to Washington.

While some may approve of their optimism, others might question their candidate's fabric and color choices.

Tragic Rabbit, NYC Sun

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