Written by Chuck Terzella
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Topics: Women, Washington

Monday, 26 April 2004

Organizers of The March for Women's Rights estimate that Sundays pro abortion rally in Washington drew a crowd of at least one million people, possibly more. In a statement issued from in hiding at Camp David, President Bush called on the nation to "work to build a culture of life in America regardless of whether you're a Godless Baby Murdering Heathen or a Caring, Compassionate Republican Churchgoer ."

Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, " I was there. Actually, I was in the crowd trying to score some phone numbers of hot chicks. I figured, what the hell, if I got one in bed and she got pregnant, there'd be no problem. Of course, I didn't tell anybody I was with the White House; those she devils would've torn me limb from limb."

Shortly after taking the Office of President Mr. Bush, in opinion of some one of the best arguments for abortion that this country has ever produced, barred government funding from organizations that provide abortion, abortion counseling or ever expressed any admiration for Bill Clinton. He has also banned the use of the "morning after pill" without a prescription, and has proposed abstinence as way to a healthy sex life, much as the one he reportedly lived during his wild drinking days as a dashing young fighter pilot keeping the Texas skies safe from North Vietnamese enemy attack.

Speaking on the condition of more anonymity, Waterhouse continued, " Sure, on this issue George Bush is a little to the right of say, the Pope, but he's really a good guy, a fun loving guy. Why, when he's not bombing countries he likes nothing better than getting together with Bobby and Ted for a game of touch football out on Martha's Vineyard, or maybe taking Jackie to the opera."

When informed that he was actually referring to President John F. Kennedy, Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of even more anonymity said, "Yeah, I know, but hey, we snowed the people on Iraq, the environment, WMD's and Haliburton, so I just wanted to see how far we could go."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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