After months of tireless efforts, United States Presedential candidate Barack Obama has admitted that he and Oprah Winfrey are, in fact, the same person.
"It brings me great embarrassment to announce today that I, Barack Obama, and Oprah Winfrey are the same person. I'm sorry for anybody I might have fooled in the process," Obama stated today via satellite to hoards of protesting Democratic supports and delegates. "For twenty five years I have been a visionary in women's television, and as of late a respected political figure. I hope my confession will not change that. I'm as woman as anybody, even Mrs. Clinton, but still as man as anybody, even you John McCain."
"All I can say is - the joke was always on us," a furied Obama hopeful sneered. "We should have known all along."
Winfrey has yet to comment because, as you all know, Obama beat her to it. This means for her to confess would mean Obama confessing twice.
"Mr. Obama has done nothing wrong here," notable cross dresser Eddie Izzard explained this morning, "I've been doing this for years!"
No word on how this announcement will alter primary outcomes to occur later this month.