While being too sick to contemplate, our news desk was forced to move forward with this exciting news event. Innocent bystanders fell victim to indecent exposure by two recent newsliners Paul and Lohan.
Paul, a wildly unsuccessful presidential candidate, and Lohan, a mildly talented actress with perky breasts, were caught having more than amicable relations in Central Park.
Paul has reportedly been in a flat spin following his lack of support as a reformed Libertarian posing as a modern-day Republican in his bid for the presidency. Similarly, Lohan has been looking to have sex with someone - ANYONE, and this time, she was looking very much towards Paul.
Witnesses quick to the draw recorded the event on a rather robust cellular phone device.
The recording ended with a partially clothed Lohan singing "Happy Birthday Mr. No-Chance-In-Hell President...."