Written by Zander Kaufman
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Topics: national, nebraska

Sunday, 25 April 2004

image for National draft may affect Local Procrastinator

Broken Bow, Nebraska
If senator Chuck Hagle gets his way, local Procrastinator Larry Watson may be forced out of his easy chair. Watson (25) of Broken Bow has been in his current life style for six years. "I was planning to go to the city collage, but when the cable was installed and I saw MTV, CNN and HBO there was no turning back"

Watson is supported by his Grandmother Doris Watson. she was asked what she thought of his current living arrangement. "He (Watson) stays in the basement, it's cold and dark, but that's the way he likes it.

Not only would the Draft effect procrastinators nation wide. It would effect company's like "Lazy Boy furniture" which sells one of there flag-ship product the "lazy Boy recliner" every five minuets.

When we asked "Lazy Boy" CEO Rick Skaggs what he thought of this bill, he stated

"It's a treachery, with the majority of young American males off in another land, who will by our product who will lay in our recliners in two in the after noon to watch re-runs of the Dukes of Hazard?"

The Draft would possibly shut down television networks like "SPIKE TV" an all male network which plays all male programming with re-runs of Baywatch, Star Trek and classic hot-roding.

The fate of Watson, Spike TV and other male industries is still not known. "if this deed is done, the afternoon for many young boys my be made up of re-plays of Touched by an Angle and judging Amy. Watson Said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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