Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 23 February 2008

image for Stealth Bomber Goes Missing
Artists impression of a "slightly less stealthy" Stealth Bomber

A United States Air Force B-2 stealth bomber - one of the most expensive military aircraft in the world - has gone missing on a routine training mission over the Pacific Ocean.

The USAF says the plane, costing around $1.2billion (£610million), disappeared from radar screens as it flew close to Guam, but nobody has reported seeing it. It's feared it may have fallen into Russian hands.

USAF Lieutenant Colonel Doug Smith told reporters that the aircraft was about ten minutes into its mission when contact was lost. He said:

"There was no distress signal from the pilots, and nobody saw the plane come down. Being a stealth bomber, it is proving estremely difficult to find. We fear that the plane may have come down on the island of Guam, and that the residents may have made a deal with the Ruskis. Either that, or it's been hit by a piece of debris from the satellite we shot down last week."

Stealth bombers are notoriously hard to find once they go missing. Three were lost in an unlit hangar at Anderson Airforce Base last winter, and could not be located until daybreak.

Some Airforce officials have called for stealth bombers to be "slightly less stealthy" in order that they can be more easily located when lost.

One, who did not wish to be named, said:

"Those critters sure are hard to see in the dark!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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