Written by NickFun
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Topics: John McCain

Saturday, 23 February 2008

image for Senator John McCain denies inserting penis in woman's vagina
All other women are afraid to admit they had sex with this man

At a press conference this afternoon, Presidential hopeful Senator John McCain categorically denied inserting his penis in lobbyist Vicki Iseman's vagina.

"I did not have sex with that woman", McCain stated.

A reporter at the scene asked McCain what he meant by "sex".

"I did not put my penis in Vicki Iseman's vagina!" McCain retorted.

McCain dismissed questions about oral sex and cigars.

Since the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal of the 1990's, reporters have been careful to ascertain what a president's or aspiring candidates definition of "sex" is. Political figures, theologians, and linguistic experts have offered various opinions on the definition of the term including open-mouth kissing, fellatio, cunnilingus, vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse and any variation in between.

McCain's wife Carol was fully supportive of her husbands declaration. "He hasn't gotten it up since 1982", she revealed.

Several other women claimed they have also had sex with McCain but they were too ashamed to speak to the news media. One woman did agree to speak so long as she remained anonymous.

"I'm afraid people will says 'that's the best you can do? You poor thing!' If Vickie did have sex with him that's what I would say too!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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