Written by Vegas Sinner
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Thursday, 21 February 2008

image for 'Golden Showers' Scrub Sin City-ians
Peeing is a cost-saving relief to combat skyrocketing Las Vegas water utility bills.

LAS VEGAS, NV -- Being pissed off is not an option, but creative vengeance is.

A major water rate increase will appear on the April bills of Las Vegas residents.

But one boiling-mad Las Vegas Valley resident has come up with a novel solution to show her disgusted opposition to the sky-high average 23% water increase that was passed by the Las Vegas Water Waster District on February 20.

She's getting pissed on.

"I've invented a system where I can take FREE recycled urine showers," says irate, but beaming, Sin City 95-year-old resident, Tammy Inmyshorts, the system's inventor. "This shitty city is driving me bonkers. I can't even afford to pay my f____n water bill...I'm forced to sweat in this hotbox and stew in my sweat.

At my age, being pissed on is my only remaining option."

Necessity being the Mother of Invention, Inmyshorts has designed a new product -- dubbed "The Screw" -- that is green-friendly and easy to use. Using a common environmental unfriendly plastic grocery shopping bag for a liner that is placed in the toaster-sized unit, the pee is excreted directly into the unit- or a tube can run directly from a your bidet to the shower head, where it connected by a simple plumbing tee to your shower head.

The plastic bag quickly dissolves from the urea, purifying the slurry, and saves our environment from yet another landfill indignity.

"Actually, I've found urine to be a good body scrub, replacing my tufa pads for another cost savings," says Inmyshorts. "Sure, it sounds revolting- but that is exactly we all must do- band together and scrub in piss together…All for one, and one for all."

Asked on what she plans for her encore, Inmyshorts says: "I'm developing a communal social piss network (SPN), where we can all distribute and share our pee among network members, thus extending our shower times, and offering product branding variety…everyone can try different piss."

Being pissed on may just be a good thing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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