Written by queen mudder
Print this

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

image for Wiccan fears for Bush's Virgo lunar eclipse satellite shoot-down
Wiccans think this could be a classic military f###-up

Washington AC/DC - (Cataclysmic Mess): The World Council of Wicca has issued a stern warning about lunatic proposals by the Bush Administration to shoot down a rogue, toxic satellite on the day of the Virgo lunar eclipse with a sea-launched S&M-3 missile from the disaster-laden Star Wars program.

"This is a horrific corruption of the ancient Wiccan ritual of Drawing Down the Moon," a WCW spokeswoman said today.

"To perform it under the impending Virgo lunation spells disaster for all concerned.

"The annual Pisces/Virgo lunar confrontation is exacerbated by the eclipse which throughout hystery has been recognised as an ill omen on which only madmen act."

Pentagon sources have yet to comment on the effects of hitting the rogue satellite which is rumored to be carrying ten tonnes of the lethal chemical Hydrazine.

And in London a spokesman for the notorious Hellfire Club reminded US military top brass that there is no guarantee the lethal liquid will disperse into the atmosphere:

"It could just erupt into a passing rain or snow storm and come down with a vengeance on some vulnerable site like Windsor Castle, or the Vatican, the Kremlin or even George Bush's own Predator Chapel Ranch home in Crawford," the spokesman said.

The lunation begins around 3.30 GMT.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 4?

3 21 12 15
49 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more